Thursday, September 17, 2009

i realised i always turn to writing posts when im down. when i feel upset abt something and i have no one to talk to. advices are always turned on deaf ears; and it doesnt seem to help when you have no absolute support or backups in whatever you are doing. Many times i've been thinking, whether should or should not, yes or no. but it still hinges on that very strand of line i cant see at all. i am still very much afraid of previous incidents. still very much cowering behind. but still. this very fact doesnt help in anything at all. im just down. really down. and i dunno when its gonna be up. no vague hints of it any time soon.

.:sTella:. at 7:52 PM

Wednesday, June 03, 2009


.:sTella:. at 9:08 PM

Saturday, May 23, 2009

i realised. the whole night staring at blank space. trying to figure out something. maybe every attempt is just useless. just wouldnt help at all. maybe thats why everyone left. this thought keep spinning in my mind. and i have no idea how things are going to turn out. regrets are not going to wrk. i just pray for the strength. but even Him, deserts me as i chose not to turn to Him.

.:sTella:. at 5:55 AM

Friday, May 15, 2009

i just wanna say. when something or someone is gone. its gone forever. trying to make it work, trying to patch up e bruises and the hurts... its just futile attempts. simply speechless with how some people think. -_-'''

.:sTella:. at 10:52 PM

Monday, May 11, 2009

i guess sometimes. intentions are indeed more grave than outcomes or consequences. somethings u said or done wrong. just aint gonna be forgotten like that. throughout the journey i was thinking. maybe. just maybe. that teeny weeny thought of mine will just come true one fine day. its just a thought that will keep me awake for many a nights. i guess. maybe. its time to go to the church for some enlightenment.

.:sTella:. at 6:59 PM

Saturday, May 09, 2009

many people advised otherwise. but the feeling still wont go away. im happy for them. yet... e emotions came. i avoid cos i dun wanna face it. i dun wanna see the facts for what they are. im afraid maybe. maybe... Life's just so straightforward.

.:sTella:. at 7:34 PM

Sunday, March 22, 2009

time passes oh-so-fast in the past month. i thought i would not be serious in relationships again. cos the previous hurt was too great. seeing couples made me emotionless. seeing marriage as a annulment. but somehow, HE made me want to try again. somehow, HE made me wanna commit again. even though, it may be hard. even though e road might be tough. i guess, i hope, we can go through it this time. its astonishing how HE is always inside my mind. always there which i didnt expect HIM to be at. i thank Lord for HIM, for the love that grew out of it, for the future that can be. thank HIM for loving the imperfect me. i'm really touched by the things HE've done and said. thank you adrian love. thank you.

.:sTella:. at 10:07 PM

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