Sunday, August 24, 2008

its been 2 weeks since i left him. irony that it fell on 9 aug. but right now, i hate myself more than anything else. i hate the indecisiveness. i hate the moodiness. and i hate myself for having e ability to hurt and make pple sad. how could i possibly have this kind of _____ to do that. i really hate myself. tsk. but e good thing is, gradually, i feel kinda ok without fish. he was once a very impt part of my life. but now, nothing more than a friend. it hurts, but it'll heal. i have all the people behind me. i cant fail. xuan, yiwei, mel, thank you. i wun fail u. to that very someone. gimme time. i will be myself very soon, very very soon. gimme strength pple. god bless.

.:sTella:. at 2:17 AM


Saturday, August 09, 2008

life has to go on. I've heard that umpteen times within these 2 days. i tried not to hear, i tried not to see. but my heart still broke. just for the simple reason. i still love him. its not going to be easy. but i will wait. waiting is gonna be hard as well. but I'm sure I'll persevere. i will be strong. HE must be happy. HE must be enjoying his freedom. i want to know that. if he's happy, all i did, all i endured, will be worthwhile. if not. i wouldn't know what to do. pls Lord, take care of him n let he lead a happy life. God Bless.

.:sTella:. at 1:24 PM


Friday, August 08, 2008

i'm finally blogging again. not cos im happy. its exactly the opposite. 2 years down the road but yet nothing was achieved. time not well spent? it may be to him. i often wondered whether it was the route i should have taken long ago. but i still dont have the answer. even to now, i refused to think of it as futile effort to make things work. maybe i loved him. maybe i really do. but now, im just plain disappointed. many a things i have given up, many i have let go. all for a reason. but now that the reason is gone, should i keep clinging on. or should i......... im really thinking.

.:sTella:. at 9:22 AM


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